I was thinking about responsiveness and how real, attuned responsiveness happens in the moment...
It isn't planned and it isn't a technique...
And I remembered something that happened years ago when my son had a fever.
My son has always had lucid dreams. As a child, he didn't have nightmares because if the dream got scary - he would change it. Unless he had a fever.
When he had a fever, he couldn't control his dreams anymore and had really bad nightmares and hallucinations.
One day he was home sick with a fever and was resting on the couch. I was in the kitchen doing some dishes, when suddenly he called to me in a panicked voice...
He was genuinely terrified. He was pointing off towards the wall where he clearly saw something terrible and frightening.
"Make them go away!" he screamed.
Now, part of me wanted to say "Now honey, there's nothing there. You're sick with a fever. You're safe. etc etc...."
Then I looked at his face and saw his fear. My whole body responded.
I turned to the wall and with a fierce intensity I waved my arms at the invisible monsters and yelled...
My son immediately relaxed, closed his eyes, said "thank you" to me very sweetly... and went back to sleep...
I felt like a super hero!
And also, part of me wondered if that was ok - it didn't seem like a very grown-up response... but it eased his fear... and that seemed enough.
I couldn't have planned my response. It was based on my sense of what he needed in that moment. Real responsiveness is often unexpected and unexplainable.
And I'm noticing that right now, as I remember that moment, what I feel most is aliveness.
And also, delight... which I will write more about next week - how it arises naturally through the dance of attunement.